Apparently I wrote a couple of poems on March 30, 2013 that were quite insightful and inspired and I only stumbled across them recently when I opened up a scribbler randomly to take notes as I listened to a psychic tell me about my future. Anyway, I don’t remember writing them and maybe I’m my own best fortune teller:
I’ve started writing in the middle of my scribbler
like trying to jump
from the armchair into the
middle of adventure.
I am impatient for the new
in a hurry to put now into the past
as I sit here.
The freedom of writing
here, there and everywhere
Don’t box me in
left to right
one to ten
A to Z
I’m hopping in at M
half past whichever hour strikes
A government girl’s gotta bust out somehow!
It’s not about being 40 😦
It’s about being 40 🙂
I want more
I want messy
I want music
I want magic
and to master my days.
I will be the Skipper from now on.
If I’m dreaming
Then it’s with you in mind.
Knowing that the choices I make today will impact
I will find you.
And that’s a lie
Because I don’t believe that you exist anymore
if you did
You wouldn’t be interested in a gal who spent her
whole life pining over a mystery that might never be solved.
I dream for me
And leave the possibility of you open to the sky and gods.
If your path and mine should cross
I look forward to sharing the journey but
If you never appear
If our waymarks are lost to one another
Know that I am living life just fine
Superbly, thank you.
I’ll tell you all about
And then I just wrote one about my friend who is expecting her second baby. It’s strange to be a grown up and feel a bit of jealousy towards a fetus, but if I’m honest, there is a bit. It’s like I want to whine, “Heyyyyyyyyyy, I knew her first. Bug off!”
But then I look at her first born and remember how much I love her and how enriched our lives are with her in the world. It’s hard to remember that there was a time that she wasn’t a part of this extended family and so I look at the baby bump again and feel excitement and love and some protectiveness, like, just hang out in there little one. Your job right now is to grow strong so don’t be making any surprise appearances before the time is right.
Little person becoming an active member of
Little unknown one carving a space in our
hearts and minds.
We will be ready for you upon arrival
We are all growing room for you in
Just as your mother makes way for you in
Her body is a vehicle for you now
But she loved us with it long before you were even
And so these nine months are like being in the perpetual
first day of Kindergarten and learning that we must
And we will.
Because you, like your sister, will become an integral member of
The Time before your existence will seem
For now, you are still rooted in
Stay safely there and grow, little one
Until it’s Time.